My last night in my own bed leading up to their visit was spent tossing and turning restlessly resulting in an exhausted meltdown the morning of their arrival. (Insert the visual of a tantrum tossing 32 year old here.) I was already feeling so tired when all I really wanted to do was be fully gung-ho, fully engaged and fully switched “on” to show them the best time.. you know – for them. That dangerous Dame Resentment began to trickle in…
After a long day at the office, (it’s a yoga studio and I sit on bolsters and type on a laptop rough – I know.), I dragged my feet home repeating sweet sweet revitalizing mantras in my mind (but really not buying into their hippy voodoo bullshit). But as I stepped through the doorway the strangest thing happened. Instead of morphing into a fake enthusiastic hostess (the image of a robotic Stepford Wife springs to mind) I was warmly welcomed with hugs and kisses and such loving energy into my own home by my Sangha (yoga word for community) – my Family.
Their love filled me up. It energized me. I was excited even elated to see them. I was instantly washed clean of all my “trying” to be anything other than myself. How had I forgotten to just be me? A forgetfulness of ourselves that seems to permeate all facets of our lives – into all our roles. When else do we become Stepford Wives (or Stepford hubbies.. sisters or brothers for that matter?) Where in our lives are we trying to be something else, someone else, to change ourselves to fulfill our preconceived expectations of what other people “expect” of us. (My yoga “teacher voice” suddenly pops into my head.)
When we are surrounded by sangha, by family, by those we love and who love us – all that trying melts away. It dissolves into the Universe. Whats left is us. Pure you. Naked of all that effort. All that trying. And you’re loved just for that. Just. You.
Such is the importance of the modern family. The Sangha. The community. The support of those who Love us is paramount to us being our authentic selves. Connect with yours and quit your trying.