Hold on. She’s creeping up on me I know it. I can feel it. She’s been oh-so patient and compassionate but I’m pretty sure we’re both onto what I really need. I anticipate that She (The Universe) is about to slap me upside the face. Hold on. Or at least give me a good hefty “Oops-that-was-harder-than-I-meant-it-to-be-but-we-both-know-it-was-for-your-own-good” kind of nudge. Hold o-o-on.
One of the things that yoga teaches is to be a witness. To witness our thoughts, our habits, our patterns. This has been hands down, my biggest take-away from my mat over the course of a zillion or so chaturangas. Witnessing the little voice in my head is such a rad powertool. Possibly because my little voice is just so sneaky, sometimes nasty, but occasionally funny. The longer I observe her, the more I am able to separate myself from her (my ego) and realize that we aren’t in fact one and the same. The Universe is aware of all these small, doubt-infused conversations my ego has been feeding me and has decided to step in. Big Mama U has heard just about enough and is stepping in to have a little ‘chat’ of her own. So climb on inside my noggin’, pull up a seat in the back section and take in a bit of her Motherly wisdom…
Universe: Stop over complicating it all in your melon. Seriously girl! Simplify. You already have the answers. You just keep messing with your frequency and jumbling up all the synapses with all your trying. Connect back to The Source. Stop looking outside yourself for creativity, inspiration, material, something more… You are The Source. All you need you already have within you.
Are you suuuure? Drop the sass and quit gettin’ lippy with me girl. I’m sure.
But I don’t feel ready. Trust me. You can never not be ready. Oh love, you’re always seeking without. Always doubting the infinite wisdom within. Begin trusting. Ok, how about this? Let’s pull a card from those fancy-pants new Goddess Guidance Oracle Deck that I so generously gifted to you?
(Shuffle. Shuffle. Breathe. Pull a card.)
‘Yemanya – Golden Opportunity: “Important doors are opening for you right now. Walk through them.” ‘
Let the credits roll.
So here I am learning to be a master beginner. I am learning to dig deep and develop an inner trust. Oddly, one would expect that this would be far simpler than the complicated trust-dynamics in other relationships but alas this one is prooving to be a doozy. One could argue that my ability to chit-chat with Mother Universe is a pretty fine sign that I’m “connected” (or “cookoo” as indicated by Mother Universe sounding more like a home-girl and less like a great sage in this post) but I digress. Her message is clear:
All you need you already have within you.
Listen. Learn. Leap.
In the words of Phil Collins “I’ve been waiting for this moment, for all my life. Hold on.”
It’s time to stop waiting. Let go-o-o.